A New Year Promise

You ask me what I want as a new year gift...
What should I ask for myself this new year?
I think I have all in having you..
But I'm reminded of  Ghalib's lines:
"Hazaron Khwahishein Aisi ki har khwahish
pe dam nikle
bahut nikle mere armaan magar phir bhi kam nikle"

So,this year my love
I promise to love myself more
and so will I love the
little moments of life,
that give miniscule joys of life.
I'll love you more
 by loving myself
as in me you reside.

kuch tham sa gaya hai aaj

कुछ थम सा गया है आज
आज न चाहकर भी रो पड़े हम
हम रुक से गए
गए   थे अपने ही हमे छोडके
छोडके अगर जाना ही था
था क्यूँ थामा हमारा हाथ
हाथ अब छूट  ही गए तो
तो बनेगी कैसे अपनी बात
बात बन तो जाती मगर
मगर हर बार आ ही जाता
जाता है इक पलछिन पल
पल जो हमें जीने न दे
दे न हमे मरने की इजाज़त
इजाज़त मिल तो जाती पर
पर कुछ थम सा गया है आज

Beyond the world's end

Your soft hands cup my face
and you look into my eyes,
searching ,reaching the farthest crevices of my soul.
Oh yes!They tell you what you wanted to know
- they tell you I'm yours.

You move a strand of my hair
falling over ,covering
 my love-drunken droopy eyes.
Oh yes!They tell you a fairy tale
of a Rapunzel in me waiting for her lover.

You smell my neck,my face,my body
seeping in my untouched fragrance
like a loving child close to a mother's bosom .
Oh yes!It tells you what you feel for me
-a purely magical feeling called love.

I let you cup,move and smell.
I let you love me once again.
Oh yes!I know we'll always meet
beyond the world's end ;
till our souls merge at 
the dawn of a new eternity. 

The Choice

The bliss of being alone
the bliss of being with you?
What do I choose?
I realise I can't choose -
I have to just flow 
with what comes ,follow my heart as always.

Now that I'm growing old with you 
I still am the same little girl at heart
who chose you above all.
With or without you
is not a question anymore .

You reside in me ,
had made my heart your home 
many years ago.
So what if the door is a bit 
rusted and creaks when there is a knock 
it still is a door,
it still opens,
 it still makes you believe in me.

So the choice is yours my love
to believe or not to believe...
to love or not to be loved....

The friendship that was!!

Remaining fragments of emotions
shattered like a mirror ,
breaking all that was
left in a relationship
that was once
called true friendship.

Turmoil,envy,agony and strife,
also the pain evidently rife ;
making my life bereft of
any warmth that was
there between
you and me.

The loss of faith,
The loss of trust ,
transformed into an
empty void of mistrust:
the burden of which
is carried by
both of us:
all the time
-everywhere
like the albatross
hung around our necks.

Isolation

Why did you hold my hand
when you couldn't love me forever?

Why did the road turn bleak
and suddenly disappear into the foggy land?

Why did the music melodious and fresh
turn into a harsh cacophony?

Why did you only love the one person in me
and not accept me in totality?

Why did you try and change me
into something that I can never be?

Why did my smiles turn against me
and laugh at me with haunting pain?

Why do I find peace only in isolation?
How come I am in a state of desolation?

nayi umeed

बदलते रहे करवटें बिस्तर पर यूं
 नींद हो गयी कहीं ओझल
उड़ गयी कुछ देर हमे सपने दिखा कर
फिर कर गयी वोह हमे बोझिल


करते रहे याद वोह पुरानी बातें
जो रखी थी कहीं तकिये के सिरहाने
जब बंद आँखें खोली तो
चले फिर हम खुद को मनाने 

तकलीफ तो हुई बहुत 
पर दिल के अरमान सब टूट गए
मुट्ठी खुली और
बचे रेत के घर भी फूट गए

चलो अब ले चले इस दिल को वहां
जहाँ न हो कोई झूठे वादे
ज़िन्दगी पल में हो सकती है आसां
अगर फिर हो चले हम  सादे

मना लेंगे दुनिया को हम
बस साथ जो थोड़ा देदो तुम
आएगी फिर से चैन की नींद
फिर भर  आयेगी नयी उम्मीद

Nature of love

Oceanic waters of deep affection,
Waves of soulful,heart-filled laughter,
Splashing mists of tearful gladness
Surround me when I'm perceiving
the nature of your love.

Adoring eyes of the pitter-patter raindrops ,
her soft fingers on my face,
remind me of your touch ;
and heavenly feeling drapes me like wilful clouds
and touches the horizons of my body and soul.

I shine as a multi-hued rainbow.
I glow as the morning sunrise .
I 'm drenched like the fields waiting for the rains.
It is now that I  comprehend the nature of your love-
The timelessness and permanance.

Papa ,I Love You

Papa,I love you!!

Papa,You have always kindled
my life with enthusiastic vigour of fiery energy,
The will to win,
the aim distant yet appraochable,
the life of a struggler striving for perfection.

Honest thought and perseverance
have always been by your side.
Lofty high flown ideas flee at your sight.

Pragmatic idealism of true love
is what you've made me understand.
The respect for each human,
the respect for each hand.

Humble yet self -esteemed you've always been.
To know thyself always keen.

Not like the other gold-diggers who are planned makers,
you have always been my one and  only inspiration.

The blunt reality of your words
will never be lost to me .
I wish you live forever
to love your lil' baby .

Papa,I love you!!

P.S:This poem was written just a few days before I lost papa forever.

I grew wings today

I grew wings today
and soared up in the sky like a skylark.
All I could see was light and glory down below.

I grew wings today
and frittered frivolously like a colourful butterfly.
All I learnt was to give some joy .

I grew wings today
and sparkled the dark dusty road like a firefly.
All I created was an enlightening vision.

I grew wings today
I wish they stay
Not melt like wax wings of Icarus.
He flew too near the sun
I flew for myself
I know God will see the difference.

Monologue of an AIDS patient

Footsteps..

Footsteps treading fast,
faster than never before,
from one door to other door.

Don't ask what is all this?
'Coz I'm noone to tell.
Nor here to scream and yell.
But to enjoy the moments of life..
Gave up I ,the whole strife.
The whole challenge 
thats put before us,
to restrict ourselves,
to follow the morals.

I thought I 'd be happy,
laurelled with flowers.
but what did I find instead-
a crown of thorns
rested on my whimsical head.
I wasn't given the little I asked for ,
the little I claimed.
I was pushed into corners,
scorched alive with hateful looks .

I may live today ,
die tomorrow .
Who knows about 
my next 'morrow.

I just lie here on a hospital bed,
trying to thread
my life
moment by moment:
gaiety to torment.
 For then, I just wonder..
Whose footsteps did I follow and reached this Hell??

I get no answer .
I never will.                                     

na jaane kahan hogi woh

खेलती थी वोह सुबह की बाँहों से
चलती थी मस्ती में
रहती थी एक सड़क किनारे
एक छोटी सी बस्ती में


न सर पर माँ-बाप का था  साया
न ओढ़ने को था कफ़न ही
फिर  भी अदा थी उस में
सितारों की सड़क पर मटकती  थी सस्ते में

लोग फैंका करते थे थोड़ी सी चिल्लर
कभी देखते कभी घूरते
कुछ खीचते बिन धागे के
उसे  पैसों से भरे बस्ते में

ऐसे ही एक दिन लुट गयी अस्मत उसकी
चलते हुए भीड़ में अकेले
न जाने कहाँ होगी अब
न घर में है न रस्ते में

YOU

The unquenchable thirst:is you.
The insatiable desire:is you.
The unbeatable feeling:is you.
The unmatched lover:is you.
The illogical logic:is you.
The repressed emotions:is you.
The untrained mindfulness:is you.
The beautiful carelessness:isyou.
The varied sameness:is you.
The partial completeness:is you.
The busy laziness:is you.
The loving anger:is you.
The tired freshness:is you.
The carefree bonding:is you.
The last beginning,
the first ending:is you and only you.

hum tum

कभी जो हम मिले न होते
तो क्या हम जिंदा भी होते ?
न जानते  हम किसी मंजिल को
तो बीच मैं यह रास्ते  भी होते?
खो जाते कहीं हम चलते चलते
और पता भी न चलता
तुम कहीं और ,
 हम कहीं और होते |
यह तो है खुदा की इनायत
की हम तुम मिले इस तरह
वर्ना हम किसी और के होकर
भी तुम्हारे ही होते |

A love song

 The grey sky overcast with
ethereal clouds ,
sending the showers down
upon the earth's bosom :
heavily.


My heart,my body and my soul
longing for your warm touch ,
like a caterpillar wriggling for new life,
the cozy feeling of a body in a cocoon:
readily.


What's this bizzare emotion
that knocks on the doors of my heart?
Whats's this new-old feeling
that rested there for eons?


Is it love?
yes:
strangely.


I'm surprised
clearly,
happily.


My soul answers ,
quite
 conspicuously!!

Pain

He twisted.
He turned.
He cursed.
He was in pain.

He sweared.
He feared.
He endured.
He was in pain.

He writhed.
He whimpered.
He wavered .
He was in pain.


She stood by his side,nursing away
the pain that moved his facial muscles.
Why is it that he can never see
the pain hidden in her eyes??

Let's move on..

Let's move on
and look for  newer horizons
over the dark, gloomy clouds.

Let's move on
and prance like a baby impala
just learning to walk for the first time.

Let's move on
and brush the firmament with rosy hues
killing the dark grey in our lives.

Let's move on
and create a niche' of our own
forcing the sturdy walls of egos to crumble down.

Let's move on
and plant a seed of happy hope
in place of the junkyard of tense emotions.

Let's move on
and write a new,unread parable
denouncing the cliche'd tales of love.

Let's move on
for a free life where both of us
chase our individual dreams; still clinging to each other in love.

Sleep-walk

It was a dark ,cold night
I was fighting my loneliness with all my might.
Carefully handling the steps ,
my soul searched for some light.

I gazed at the stars ,
noticed ,they too had some scars
Turning away in dreamy hope ,
I burnt away darkness to chars

Reaching the darkest crevices of my soul ,
I garbed on a look bold .
Finding no reason of  despair,
I got back some hold.

 I got slowly back to my bed ,
saw the faces that I fed.
Admiring them in semi-darkness ,
this strange sleep- walk ended.

Don't bother,remember me.

When you are feeling low ,
when the world is upside down for you ,
when the need to stay alone surmounts ;
don't bother,remember me.

When the words you speak don't reach anyone ,
when the shrieking noises inside bubble ,
when the ghastly, dismal sense traps you ;
don't bother,rememeber me.

When the ifs and buts make you nuts ,
when the stress increases the cigarette butts ,
when the tensions intake is far too much ;
don't bother,rememeber me.

You'll strangely find yourself smiling
by just remembering me .
You'll awaken a cheerful life again
and defeat the Melancholy.

They lost each other!!

They met as  schoolmates,
with their lil'faces lighting up
to see the cheerful jocundity
of their class jokers.

They walked different roads
but  met once more at the crossroad of life.
Once friends,competitors
they were now labelled as lovers.

They stayed stuck in the bliss
of love like a still ,paused movie.
Time passed,and the altercations began;
sometimes it was his whimsical moves
and yet again it was her expectations.

She rejoiced in his love,
rebelled against his authority.
He loved her grace
and despised her insecurities.

Both were free
both wilful.
They started losing out
on something beautiful.

They finally decided the finality of their love
The decison to be just what they were.
He moved on to a lonely path of life.
And she decided to be else's wife.

Sad it was:their
painful  love story.
that the lovers tormented
like some warheroes gory
who die in the field
with no  love of their life.
Alas! the lovers just faced strife.

While you were away..

While you were away
I shed tears  like a palaash tree in autumn
longing for spring to return.

While you were away
I rose each day like a  desert farmer
 wishing for a good monsoon.

While you were away
I wavered with no compass to guide me
in the turbulent tempests.

While you were away
I lost my smile like
a mother who loses a son in a battle.

While you were away
I broke the dams of my eyes
and drenched in the agony of uncontrollable rains.

While you were away
I had no symphony
as I ruined the musical piece I had created.

While you were away
I turned into a  melancholy
and merged silently into the  pathos of tragedy.

While you were away
I  missed you like
someone skips a heartbeat.

I wish the palaash tree red fiery flowers.
I hope the desert farmer lives his hope.
I crave for the internal battle to end.
I need the dams to be restored.
I desire the strings of my heart to create music again.
I want to change the course of my tragedy.
Yes,I do see
I see the light at the end of the tunnel.

His story so far

He loved many.

First, it was Glory
He loved her smooth hair,
the texure of her skin,
her frail petite frame.
But Glory wanted glory
as he had none,
She asked one day
"Do I even know you?"
and married a rich man.
He was hurt but moved on.

Then he saw her Golden One,
full of vibrance and colour,
her face shining like the
majestic,golden sun.
She drew him near
(she was fearless)
and hugged in public.
She demanded him
to leave smiling,
so he left .

Thereafter came the Saint
She was a wife material.
Her simplicity and poise
impressed all , they roamed
together,giving each other
whatever they could.
They planned
but failed as being a saint
she had to give in to
family objections.
He was left again
only to be consoled as always
by  Ever Smiling.

This girl was more like
him so they gelled together.
She made him understand the
meaning of true love:
that doesn't ask,doesn't demand .
He was free for the first time of
any burdens ,any expectations
from people ,from life.

But there came Fragrance
who never undrestood
the deeper meaning of love.
She wanted to own him
like a possession.
She demanded that he makes a choice.
She was selfish and brutal.
She tore off his wings of life,
his innocence melted in
her arms .He had no choice
but to choose her for he knew
that Ever Smiling would keep on
loving him no matter what he does.


He vanished and since then
Ever Smiling has become
Never Smiling.
People look at her through the
eyes of Fragrance
who knows the charm to
manipulate them.
At times when they do see each other,
he looks strangely in her eyes
but can't see her smile
as now she can't
live a lie.
She has realized finally
he  faked to love many but he really
loved noone but himself.

baatcheet

आज देखा चाँद को
अपनी ओर देखते हुए
कुछ वोह भी हैरान था
और कुछ मैं भी पशेमान

मैंने कहा की देखता  क्यों
है इस हैरानी से
क्या तू भी मेरे जैसा
अकेला है आज रात


वोह हंसके बोला मुझसे
क्या बात करती हो
क्या मेरी तरह भी
कोई तन्हा हो सकता है


मैं लटका हूँ सदियों से
अन्तरिक्ष में ,
कभी घटता हूँ ,कभी बढ़ता हूँ
कभी तो किसी को नज़र भी नहीं आता


मुझसे क्या तुलना करती हो अपनी
मैं हूँ एक बेजान बूढा चेहरा
और तुम रोज़ ही जाती हो
बुढापे की ओर

मेरे दर्द को तुम क्या समझोगी
तुम नादान हो आखिर
अनजान हो मेरे कुरूप रूप से
कभी सोचो तो मेरी झुर्रियां कबसे हैं


 कभी तो ख़ूबसूरत थी तुम
कभी तो थे तुमपर बहुत से फ़िदा
मैं तो हूँ इक त्रिशंकुं की तरह
जिसका ना ओर है न छोर

मेरा कहा मानो
हंसा करो रोज़
क्योंकि तुम तो चली जाओगी जल्द ही
रह जाऊँगा मैं फिर से अकेला

The Guilt

He blocked her out to loneliness .
He shunned her to abyssal nothingness .
He loved her ,he wanted her.
Why then the acknowledgement
of his love
seemed a sin to him??
Had he not noticed the
same feelings in her 
eyes??




Was it the apple:
the fruit of knowledge..
the lost innocence
of Eve burdened 
with the original sin
Or it was the hope 
of transcendental love 
going to  the dungeons?


Now that Adam saw her
as a woman,
Now that he waited 
to love her the way
he had always wanted:
why then the guilt
of losing out on 
The Garden Of Eden?


He did'nt know  ,
He didn't realize ,
what he wanted 
was natural,
what he desired 
was destined.
Their names were to create
history ,the story
of first love
that gave rise 
to humanity.
Why then the guilt??
They were to create
what they had to create
in God's decree
as He sees everything but waits.

udaas

आज फिर बात चली मेरी तुम्हारी

फिर से कुछ खलिश सी दिल में हुई

याद आये वोह दिन  सुहाने

और न जाने क्यों  इक हूक सी उठी

आज फिर बात चली मेरी तुम्हारी

 पुरानी दास्तान जो अभी भी है याद

दास्ताने ग़म भी है कुछ शामिल

वही तन्हाई का था आलम मिलन के बाद

आज फिर  बात चली मेरी तुम्हारी

पलट कर जब फिर से जो तुमने देखा

क्यों फिर से खिच गयी आखिर

दूरियों की यह रेखा

फिर से वोह शाम क्यों न आई

फिर से वह प्यार भरी बातें न दोहराई

क्यों न खीचा तुमने फिर से अपने पास

शायद इसिलिए हूँ मैं आज उदास

tum ho nanhe se bete

तुम हो इक नन्हे से बेटे

मेरी आँखों के तारे

बस यही चाहती हूँ

मैं कि

तेरे अरमान हों पूरे सारे

जब तू चले ज़मीन पर

नभ भी तेरे आगे झुके.

तुझे देख कर मेरी जान कभी

कोई आफत न रुके

चली जाये वोह कहीं और

कर ले कहीं और बसेरा

तेरे लिए रात न हो काली

बस हो चमकता सवेरा

तू है भी नादान

तू है अभी अनजान

जाने न तू अभी दुनिया

क्यों रहती है परेशान

मेरी दुआ तो बस यही है
कि खुशियाँ तमाम तुझे मिले

कभी तेरे दिल मैं दर्द का अँधेरा न जले

तेरी यह शैतानी तेरी यह मुस्कराहट

रहे यूँ बरकरार

और मैं जी भर के

करती रहूँ

तुझे प्यार

She and I

We would sing the same songs .
We would dance to the same music .
We would listen to the same stories.
We would laugh at the same jokes.
yet she was different..
..she was she
and I was I.
She was  quiet and sensitive.
I was  bold and  fun.
She was an obedient daughter ,
I always had questions.
She worked hard to make her parents proud.
I always did what I thought was right.
I faced many toubles in  my life
I had to undergo struggle and strife.
She was married off to the right man
then why could he never understand
the way she was and what she liked
she also went through a real tough life
she got no love
she got no peace
she just tried
to join a piece to piece.
She tried to give me a fake smile.
But I can see her soul inside
that weeps and cries all this while
when she meets me now
once in awhile .
I wish her joy,
I wish her strength .
I hope she gets
a real compliment
from the man whom
she admires and loves ;
who gives her silence
and a shoulder cold.
If she were a little bold
She could fight her way
and get a hold.

She was the right one
in everyone's lays..
I wish she lives
like the good, old days.

lonesome

I saw him looking in my eyes
with questions innumerable
He wanted the answers
but I had none.
..yes,there was love
..there was warmth
..there was peace
I had never seen him
so content
so quiet yet
so lonesome..
I asked only one question
but to myself-
Is he now tied up with
his  perception of himself ?
...a fighter
...a crusader
...a real man
who tried best to protect ,
to nourish
the bond he created out
of a need to fulfil his own
narcissistic image:
but destroyed another he had
nurtured for long.

Did he truly love her
or is he  just fighting his
loneliness?

No one can tell ..
But I can always see
his soul bare
his loneliness to me.
Walking with clasped hands
with she drooling over him;
he looks around to
find me.
Alas!! He can't get me back..
never..never again..
as now it's me 
who loves to be
lonesome.

dastak

Aaj kuchch hum bhi udaas hain
aur kuchch tum bhi ho gamgeen
lekin yeh ehsaas bhi hai
ki jahan bhi ho ,mere saathi ,
 wahan pahuch hi jaati hai
meri thodi si
dastak.


utha kar tumhe neend se
jagati to hogi ,
yeh dastak tumhe kuchch
batati to hogi,
hila kar mere ek dupatte ka kona,
hawa si woh tumhe
sahlati to hogi..

phir yaad aata to hoga,
tumhe woh pehla pyaar,
woh bachpan ki yaadein,
woh zara sa ikraar..

kabhi jaate hue,
jo mud ke dekhte the tum.
to main bhi wahin
 thi parde ke peechche
chupi gumsum.
tumhaara woh peechche mudna
woh mujhe doondhna
aata to hoga kabhi yaad.
or bas ek baar woh aakhiri jhalak ka
rehta tha dono ko intezaar.
Batati ho hogi woh dastak tumhe
mere dil ka yeh bechain haal.

kai saal guzare
kai sadiyan gayi
saath chhoota bhi
par nahi bhi .
yeh kaisi hai dastak aaj phir se dil main
ki aaina maine dekha

or nazar aaye tum hi..

main kaun hoon

मैं क्या हूँ  

क्या नहीं

मैं कौन हूँ

कौन नहीं

यह पता नहीं

यह पता नहीं

मुझे किस दिशा
की तलाश थी
यह पता था
मुझे सदियों से
पर अब यह मुझे
क्या हो रहा
की दिशा का
मुझे पता नहीं

वह
प्यार था
या यह प्यार है
या दोनों ही है सच
पर मैं तो मैं ही थी
हमेशा से
अब 'मैं' का मुझे पता नहीं

यह आज कैसी चली आंधी
की उड़ा ले चली मेरे वजूद को
वह मेरे मैं को ले उड़ी
अब क्या बचा है
यह पता नहीं

we were meant to be together: The flower girl

we were meant to be together: The flower girl: Sitting in the air-conditioned car , I saw her running towards me barefeet. Her small ,frail face lighting up to see the red light . Tra...

The flower girl

Sitting in the air-conditioned car ,
I saw her running towards me barefeet.
Her small ,frail face lighting up
to see the red light .
Traffic rushing around
like a menacing mad rush
(as vivid as a crime scene
in an English movie).
Jumping the railing,
pushing her competitor
tiny hands holding a horde of flowers
-some as fresh as the morning dew  ;
-some stale, crushed,crumpled
as an old love letter.
She brushed against the
window glass,her dirty
hands so evident against
the fresh paint of the car:
"Memsahib,phool lelo na"
She was a flower girl
living a thorny life.
So young,So beautiful,
Yet unblossomed and
undesired by anyone.
The redlight turned green,
her image thinning
into an apparition ; 
distant and bleak,
making me
 ponder over
my blessed
 childhood !!

The soul connection

The distance
between us
is just a fallacy ,
just peep in
your heart
and there
I belong .

This loneliness
that bites
you like a sting
of a scorpion
is the pain
that I go
 through
everyday
without you .

This busy time
is just a
way of life .
Look beyond
it and
you'll find
us connected .


No words needed ,
No touch required .
All we need
is a soul connection
to be with
each other
forever
and ever.

So,hark my love
the music within .
Don't get lost
in the noises
that separate us .
There you'll find
the melody of love .
That is where
the real peace is!!

The Bold and the Beautiful

She was lovely ,

plain beautiful .

Her smile could

melt a million hearts.

 Hid behind her

coy ,timid ,elusive

persona  ,her

real self.

She spoke her mind

when she intended to .

She didn't bother

much about

other's opinion .

She did what

 she thought was right .

She wasn't wary of

the painful repercussions .

She took a lesson from the

  irresistible problems.

She was what she was.

She was the bold

and the beautiful .

Tonight

Tonight when I'll look upto the sky ,
I'll see you your face looking down at me with love.
You'll be the twinkling stars shining in my darkness.
You'll be the cool wind breezing through my soul .
You'll be the vast expanse of darkness enveloping me into your arms .
You'll be the winged cricket playing  music in my ears .
You'll be the sound of the flute coming from a distance .
You'll be the melody that my heart longs to listen .
You'll be the moon that shines on my forehead .
Tonight..
I'll wait alone .
Tonight
I'll still be there with you .

For the memory of a moment

Carressing touch of a lost soul ,
to another of a kind ;
brought back the memories
of the sweet old times.

Tortured with the thoughts
of the past that was ;
I relive the memories:
The Tramway Car

It was there that I saw him ,
quite an introvert was he ,
face reading the earth ,
eyes searching for me.

I opened my life to him
chapter by chapter ,
unfolding the mysteries
but not on any paper.

He had the guts ,
he had the charm ,
he shared every dream through his eyes ,
and made me calm .

Even as I left the train ,
my eyes were on him ;
Oblivious to the light
I just loved the dim .

It was the dusk hour
and he followed me ;
Shyly glancing,smiling
towards me.

When I reached a corner
he suddenly disappeared .
I took a turn ,
and forward steered.

I looked around ,
but in vain .
He was nowhere
....I was in pain .

I consoled myself ,
my body trembling  ;
in despair dismal
my evening ended .

I still take that
5'O Clock train ;
to relive the memories
that are insanely sane .

we were meant to be together: The witness

we were meant to be together: The witness: Walking down the steet , I saw 'them' drooling in love , holding hands , speaking words of silence to each other , smelling the first fr...

The witness

Walking down the steet ,
I saw 'them' drooling in love ,
holding hands ,
speaking words of silence to each other ,
smelling the first fragrance of love ,
whispering in the hazy twilight
bathing in the summer rain ,
waiting eagerly for each other ,
smiling from a distance-
 heaving a sigh of relief ,
to see the drunken lost eyes
that were so much in love.

I now behold
'him' and 'her'
shrieking,yelling at each other :
the ugly side of love ,
no words can heal the wounds
they give to each other ,
both right,both wrong ,
none ready to admit ,though  ;
they get a sadistic
pleasure in hurting ,harming
what they had so well nurtured-
the house they called a home...

The Mistaken Identity II

He told me to hold on,
He tells me to let go...

He created a bridge,
He creates a barrier....

He waited with me for next life,
He loosens his reigns on me....

He struggled with pain,
He makes me insane...

He looked  into my eyes,
He gazes into the distant.....

He was an open book,
He is a secret diary....

He cupped my face with love,
He stays away from me....

Was it truly love?
Or was I too in love
with love??

Wanderlust

I need to go East
I need to go West
I need to go South
I need to go North
I don't have a home...
I am a wanderer .

I carry the fragrance of Indian masalas ,
I am the history of Egyptian treasures ,
I fight a battle of a Roman Gladiator ,
I undertake an oddessey to the far off  Greece .
I am a wanderer .

I lounge on the praieries ,
I party in Las Vegas ,
I hide in the African jungles ,
I smell the Ghana coffee ,
I am a wanderer .

I scour the Himalayas ,
I peep into the Pacific ,
I tread on the London Bridge ,
I sleep in the Venecian gandolas ,
I am a wanderer .

I take refuge
I find peace
I beget solace
I live on the edge of life and death
I am a wanderer .

The Mistaken Identity

He smiled at me ,
He turned his face .
He waved a hello ,
He ignored my presence .
He called me his alter ego ,
He brushed aside any thought of me .
He wrote a poem for me ,
He tore my heart to pieces .
He ran to my rescue  ,
He gave me pain .
He cried on my shoulder ,
He made me cry alone .
He carried me in his soul ,
He shattered my heart  .
He belonged to me ,
He's left me on my own .

I wonder whether I knew him
Or I was lost in the
mistaken identity
I created in my mind.....

Mona Lisa

The pretty girl
 in the painting ,
so beautiful ,
so obscure ,
speaking of
innocent love .
Smiling ,
laughing  ,
happily
 through
 her eyes.
Little does
she realize
that
her future
may be
obliterated ,
erased ,
tarnished ,
through
 sooty , black hands
of
 dirty destiny.
The real reason
for her
 everlasting mood
is not
 the painter's will;
but her own fate.
She feels
stuffy ,
ornamental ,
decorated ,
(like a necktie
on an English Clerk) .
She rambles
to herself
about the
myth
that she creates
despite herself.
-an obscure
quaint
evident smile
always lingers
on her face.
That's how
she lives
wondering
at herself
:'the'
Mona Lisa.

A Broken Bangle

Round and curvaceous,
with vaccuum within,
I instil beauty to a woman.
As round as a cipher,
As fragile as a relationship,
I'm a man's clinking heartbeat.
When I'm with my friends,
I resound with happiness,
When lonely,I break into
shattering silence.
Love,hate,prejudice,
I carry no feelings
Only remorse...
That I can't go on living forever.
Being a broken bangle
I end up in a dustful heap!!

Ecstasy

Touch of the breeze ,
Zephyr at its best ,
dark ,gloomy sky
opens a new world .

The heat is past ,
sweating trauma vanished.

There pours a cloud  his heart ,
drenching me with
unknown ecstasy
unexplored emotions
in unison with
the music within me !!

All and Nothing

Crisp,subtle,formal conversation
gives me no elation ,
makes me nostalgic of all I had
and nothing I'm left with.

You say ,I do have a life but  each morning I get up
like an unfeeling ,steel machine
and start my day rambling,rumbling
 of all  I had
and the nothing  I'm left with.

I say,you do have a life,you've moved on
like a  renewed, regenerated leaf
in spring and walk ahead to your
newly discovered havens of peace.
I know,you hardly think of
the good times we shared,
the primises made and broken,
the love's labour lost ;
but all I ramble to myself
is all I had and the  nothing
I'm left with.

All that residue of shattered
love songs pricks me like
a broken mirror where I
see myself in pieces
and you intact.
What remains
other than the
'all and nothing'
is crisp ,subtle,formal conversation
which gives me no elation.